I'm Not a Stalker, I'm Just Overzealous
by M-Shadows
Summary: Minako may or may not be stalking Hiiro, no one knows for certain; Usagi and Duo are making out in a broom closet; and Makoto gets a visit from the little green monster known as envy. Hii/Min. R/R! Rated for language.


A/N: Okay, so here is a one-shot I wrote purely in the spirit of returning to the fandom. Most of my fan fiction (and the stories posted under my account) were written years ago, when I was a tad bit younger. Still, there is something about the Gundam Wing/Sailor Moon fandom that has stuck with me over the years, even though I haven't watched the shows or any other animes for at least six years. I realize this is probably a bit more adult than what normally goes into this section, but that is the way I write, and I just wanted to take the characters for a long over-due spin. =) **Also, I forgot Darien's name in the Japanese sub version, so I just used his English dub name. *shrugs* Like I said, it has been six years or more since I have seen it.

* * *

Minako didn't really know when her little "problem" started. She had always been boy crazy, jumping from one crush to another, so it didn't really surprise her when she started crushing over the gorgeous new transfer student.

He was beyond gorgeous, actually. Touched and perfected by the hand of God, is more accurate. And boy, did she have competition. Every girl in school was lusting after Hiiro Yui… that is, until they got to know him.

See, Hiiro wasn't exactly what you would call friendly. Sadistic and anti-social were terms that came to mind. Still, Minako was sure she was in love. She didn't care if he had an arsenal of monosyllabic responses, kept a gun tucked carefully into his black shorts (and don't even get her *started* on those shorts… spandex, seriously!? Was he trying to kill her?), not to mention his very-apparent relationship with the stalker-bitch, Relena Peacecraft. She just… loved him.

Now, all of this would be a lot easier if he could just realize she *existed*. Honestly, she had tried everything! … including a few methods that may or may not be legal. She was bordering on stalking, and he *still* didn't pay the slightest bit of attention to her.

She was Sailor Venus! Sailor Senshi of love and beauty… conqueror of evil and bad hair days! She was the daughter of Aphrodite, the ultimate match-maker, *and* the pre-destined expert in love and relationships. Her resume was awesome, to say the least. So, how was it even possible to fail in every attempted relationship? Oh, no surprise there.

It was that damn curse. Yeah, you know, the one where she's forced to watch everyone else fall in love, but never find love herself, yadda yadda yadda. Honestly, who wrote those things? They were lamer than Usagi's speeches… and that was definitely saying something.

Still, she was starting to wonder if the old story had any truth to it. What else could possibly explain Hiiro's *total* lack of interest? Curse or no, she was going to get his attention, no matter what.

* * *

It was third period History class when Minako finally got the courage to confront Hiiro about his very unenthusiastic responses to her flirting… well, sort of. Minako held her breath as the note landed on his desk. She wondered briefly if he'd even read it, and what a bummer would *that* be?

Still, the gods must have decided to take pity on her poor, abused soul (_It's about time, assholes,_ Minako thought bitterly.) Hiiro carefully unfolded the tied piece of notebook paper and read the messy writing:

_It's because you're gay, isn't it?_

It occurred to Minako that History probably wasn't the best class for this little interaction to take place. See, Hiiro sat in the desk directly in front of her. However, she was counting on Hiiro's infamous dislike of conversation, not to mention people in general, to save her from actually having to talk to him.

However, the gods must have decided that they had given her enough good luck for one millennia, because Hiiro decided to turn around and quirk a brow at her. A *brow*! Despite the utterly humiliating (now that she thought about it) circumstances, it was probably the most interaction they ever had. He held up the note, a clear question as to what the hell she was talking about.

Truthfully, Minako didn't really know. Still… she had her dignity to defend. "Oh, don't even try to play dumb, Mr. I'm-too-cool-to-like-anyone!" Minako huffed. "I have been flirting with you for *weeks*, so kindly stop ignoring me."

Hiiro grunted, and while Minako wasn't entirely sure, she believed that particular grunt was Yui-speak for, "Oh dear god, please leave me alone." Again, it wasn't a precise language (or a language at all, actually) but when it was all a girl had to go on, she learned to forebear.

Minako pursed her lips. Operation Get Hiiro was not going quite as planned. Still, where there's a will, there's a way, and she was *not* giving up.

* * *

Makoto sipped at her vanilla milkshake, watching as her normally bubbly friend sullenly played with her platter of french fries. "I don't know, Mina," she said hesitantly. "Are you sure he's worth all the trouble? He seems pretty… withdrawn."

Minako scowled. "Oh, just say it," she snapped. "He's an anti-social ass!"

Makoto hid her giggle behind an expertly-faked cough. "Okay, so, he's an anti-social ass," she agreed. "If that's true, then why do you like him?"

Minako's scowl, if possible, darkened. "That's the problem, Mako!" she huffed. "I don't *know* why! I just do! Why couldn't I fall madly in love with someone who actually cares that I'm alive?"

"Because you're an idiot?" Makoto supplied playfully. "Listen, if you really care about this guy, you've gotta go for it, girl!"

Minako glared at the brunette. "What do you think I've been doing for the past two months?" she demanded. "Honestly, Mako, I've been busting my ass over this guy and… he doesn't even care!

"I gave him the note in History today, like you told me to, and he just *grunted* at me!" Minako hissed. "Can you believe it!? A *grunt*! I don't even scale high enough for a syllable!"

Makoto looked unimpressed with her blonde friend's outburst. "I told you to write him a note," she said. "However, I specifically warned against any reference to his sexual orientation," she gave Minako a meaningful look. "Advice you didn't take to heart, if Duo's giggle fit was any indication."

"Oh, Duo can kiss my ass!" she seethed. "Like he is an expert in the workings of the male heart. I'm not even convinced he *is* male!"

"Hey, watch it," Makoto said. "He happens to be very nice."

Minako grunted. She was too perturbed by her ultimate failure at securing Hiiro's affections to be polite.

"So," Makoto began hesitantly. "What is the next course of action?"

Minako's demeanor visibly brightened as she clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh, you just wait and see, Mako," she squealed. "My next plan is a total work of genius."

* * *

"You're stalking him!?" Makoto asked incredulously the next day. Minako hissed her disapproval and slapped a hand over her friend's mouth.

"Shh! You'll blow my cover!" she whispered fiercely. "And I am *not* stalking! That is solely Relena's job. I'm on a stake-out!"

"First of all," Makoto said dryly. "Relena is his girlfriend, therefore, it is perfectly normal for her to follow him around—"

"Psh! Girlfriend… riiiight."

"—Secondly," Makoto continued, refusing to acknowledge Minako had even interrupted her. "You're hiding behind a row of bushes. I don't care what you call it, it's still stalking. And thirdly, why, though I know I will regret asking, are you on a "stake-out" in the first place?"

Minako huffed. "Because," she said. "It occurred to me that, while I love Hiiro deeply and wholly, I know barely anything about him. So I was thinking," Makoto groaned. "That my chances of seducing him would probably be better if I could find some common ground."

Makoto blinked. "Oddly enough," she said. "In some twisted, Minako-crazy way, that actually makes sense."

"Of course it does," Minako sniffed haughtily. "I am the Goddess of Love! This is my area of expertise!"

Makoto rolled her eyes and stood up. "Well, you have fun, terrorizing the poor transfer student and whatnot," Makoto said. "I, like most of my peers, am heading to class."

Minako scoffed. "Class is for losers!"

* * *

At lunchtime, when Minako showed up looking defeated and dejected, Makoto couldn't help but quirk a brow. "Come to join us losers at school, eh?"

Minako pouted. "He found me after a half hour!" she cried.

Ami looked up from her book in interest. "Who did?"

"Hiiro Yui," Makoto said, taking a bite of rice. "She was stalking him earlier. Or, well, trying to, at least."

"I was *not* stalking!" Minako said defensively. "Not that I'm above it or anything. Love is a brutal business, and you have to do whatever it takes! However, this time, I was merely on a stake-out, observing his interests and movements and whatnot."

"While hiding in the bushes," Makoto reminded.

"You're going to get arrested," Rei said dryly. "And anyway, you're a Senshi… aren't you supposed to be a little stealthier?"

"Senshi or no, when has Minako ever been stealthy?" Makoto asked.

"Good point."

"Hey! I'm right here, y'know!" Minako huffed. "Where's Usagi? I bet she would understand."

"Usagi's in the third floor closet necking with Duo Maxwell," Makoto said, sounding terribly jealous.

Minako tilted her head at her friend, a wicked smile crossing her face. "Watch it, Mako," she teased. "Scowl any harder and your whole face will turn green."

"I am not jealous," Makoto sniffed. "I'm just curious as to why she is making out with the first guy that asks when she already has a boyfriend."

"Please," Minako snorted. "Usagi and Darien were not meant to last. I think it's great that she's looking for someone new." Makoto eyed her dangerously and Minako just smirked, completely unperturbed. "Though, I'm surprised she went for Duo. I thought for sure she would have been groping Quatre, if anyone."

Makoto seemed somewhat appeased and Ami looked terribly scandalized. "Minako," she said disapprovingly. "What a crass thing to say."

"Eh," she shrugged. "I've given up on tact. It gets you no where in life."

"Wait, you had tact?" Rei asked, sounding confused. "When did that happen and did I sleep through it?"

"Ha, ha," Minako intoned sarcastically. "You're hilarious. Now, if you guys are done cheering me up over yet another spoiled plan in Operation Get Hiiro, I have a transfer to student to woo."

As she was walking away, Rei sighed. "I give her a week before he pistol-whips her."

"I give it two days, tops," Makoto replied.

* * *

As it turns out, both Rei and Makoto were terribly optimistic. It took only forty-five minutes for Minako to find herself tied to a chair in an abandoned classroom with Hiiro, Duo, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei staring down at her expectantly.

"Who do you work for?" Hiiro asked again, his voice cold and demanding. If Minako wasn't fearing for her life, it would be *way* sexy.

"I told you," Minako said. "I don't work for anyone!" She paused, tilting her head. "Though, last summer, I tried working at the arcade, but I was caught playing the games on my shift too many times and they fired me. Does that count?"

"Onna," Wufei said dangerously, his eyebrow twitching. "Stop messing around and tell us the truth."

Minako was starting to get upset. "I am telling the truth!"

Quatre kneeled down until he was eye-level with her. "We heard you talking to your friends earlier," he said. "You mentioned something about an operation called Get Hiiro. Did someone send you to assassinate him?"

Minako was silent for almost a full minute before she burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. "A-assass-assassinate?" she gasped out. "That's ridiculous. I just wanted him to go out with me!"

Quatre gave her a blank look. "I'm sorry, come again?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking of ways to get him to notice me," she said with a shrug. "He's very cute and I like him a lot. However, he's kind of socially retarded, so I was just trying to assert myself. Hence, Operation Get Hiiro."

It took all of five seconds before Duo was rolling on the floor with unreserved mirth. "Oh, god," he yelled, clutching his sides. "It's too much! Too much!"

Wufei looked disgusted. "Well, this was the biggest waste of my time," he said with a scowl. "Hiiro, next time, keep your stalkers on a leash."

"Hey," Minako said in affront. "I am *not* a stalker! I tried that months ago, and it failed horribly."

Duo burst out laughing again. "Hiiro, I love your life, man!"

"What are we going to do?" a stricken Quatre implored. "We tied her up and interrogated her. She's a huge security risk now."

"Oh, I don't care about any of this," she said brightly. "I just want a date!"

"What?" Quatre looked like he was about to faint. "A date?" Minako nodded furiously.

"Well, I'm in," Duo said, heading for the door. "Have fun, Hiiro, but not too much! Remember Juro-sensei's safe sex lecture!"

"Where do you think you're going?" Wufei demanded. "We're not done here!"

"To make out with Usagi-chan in the third floor closet again?" Minako suggested with a wink.

"Nope," Duo said cheerfully. "Makoto."

Minako nodded her approval. "Good, good. You two are definitely a better match."

"Now, wait just a damn minute!" Wufei snapped. "Is anyone not the least bit worried as to what we are going to do with this brain-dead idiot?!"

Minako glared at the insult, but remained silent. "Well," Quatre scratched the back of his head. "She *is* willing to compromise…" he trailed off, looking hopefully at Hiiro.

Hiiro looked between his fellow pilots, to the tied-up girl a few times before he grunted, "Whatever," and walked out.

Minako was squealing excitedly as Trowa untied the ropes. "Did you hear that?" she beamed. "He said he'd go on a date with me!"

Wufei looked nauseated. "I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit," he muttered while leaving.

Duo sighed. "I love a happy ending."

* * *

That is how, a year later, Minako and Hiiro came to have their very first anniversary. The secrets were out in the open; Hiiro's past as a government tool, and Minako's career as a crusader for love and peace, as she liked to call it.

Relena still came around every few days to bemoan the loss of her dearest Hiiro, but the former pilot seemed quite content with Minako, if only for the fact that she was not nearly as demanding as Relena. She required no real participation in the relationship on his part, so long as she was allowed several opportunities to stare at his ass, and he was more than all right with that.

It wasn't a perfect love, but it came pretty damn close.


End file.
